Fear is a language everybody speaks. It lingers like a silent whisper in the middle of the night that keeps you awake until daybreak. It awaits in ambush for your vulnerable moments, and hunts you down whenever the chance for first strike arrives. My whole life—I’ve been afraid of so many frivolous things that it starts inhibiting my movement. Like a horse ready to gallop, but weighed down by the emotional wagon it has to pull around.
The funny thing about expectation is, for me, the fact that it swells and expands with time. Take one relationship you have with a friend, for example. I’d bet all my money that you didn’t start off as close as you might currently are.
Like everyone else, you must have started as total strangers, then you gradually become closer. Notice that the expectation you have towards them also grows, almost hand in hand, with the maturity of the relationship.
Continue reading “Toxic Expectations”“How do you manage to keep on doing this?” one of my team member in the office asked me, right after my boss gave me a stern warning for not delivering the targeted completion date of my project. “Why aren’t you more upset? How could you be so strong?”
I remember I just stared at her, not knowing how to answer the question. It would be a lie to say that I wasn’t upset at all. It was my project, after all. And if I took the warning lightly, I could risk my professional credibility as a project manager. So it wasn’t like I was fooling around, either.
But what my team member said had some truth. Despite being upset, I never did show it to everyone. Despite being torn apart by the warning, I kept on managing the project like it was just another day—as if I never screwed up.
Continue reading “Deconstructing “Strength””Earlier this week, I received a package from my friend, Alicia (misshoneybug).
I knew that the package was coming; my friend already told me beforehand about sending it over. But since I had been expecting it for a couple of weeks already, I couldn’t even begin to tell you how excited I was when I finally received it.
Continue reading “Unboxing Presents from Finland!”Being hospitalized is not fun.
I never liked being punctured with needles all over, and I certainly don’t appreciate having to lay down all day to “rest”. Sometimes I feel my condition worsen just by staying in a hospital for too long.
However, I just spent this week being hospitalized.
This should explain why I was super late at posting the writing prompt results from last Saturday, and my lack of updates through any of my social media (Twitter, Instagram). And if you guys haven’t guessed it, this is also the reason why this week’s blog post is arbitrarily more raw and unpolished.
For that, I apologize.
Hello everyone, and depending on when you’re reading this, Happy New Year!
Since this will be my last post for 2018, I thought that listing down my 2019 New Year’s resolution would be the perfect way to end the year for this blog of mine.
Keep in mind that unlike my usual posts, I won’t be talking about any specific item on this list, but I’m planning to make a response post at the end of 2019 to share with you how I fared throughout the year with my resolutions. I hope it’ll be a good year for me, and for you guys, too! Continue reading “2019 New Year’s Resolution”
I’ve posted a teaser on my Instagram a few days ago, but I am currently working on a new project. And not just any project; I have been working on the premise of this story for quite some time now. So when I finally started working on the project, it feels super amazing.
I owe this excitement, mostly, to the fact that I’m writing in an unusual genre: mystery.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I used to be very experimental with my writings. I’ve written everything from fantasy to romance, and even obscure genres like bildungsroman. Exploring new genres used to feel so fun, and I was addicted to experiencing it.
I don’t know what happened exactly, but I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been as adventurous as of late. My writings from the past 5 years had always had a similar vein to them: angsty, dramatic, remorseful stories with a bleak atmosphere on them. This isn’t a bad thing, of course, just less exciting. Continue reading “Working on a New Project + My Writing Setup (Late 2018)”
Dearest,
If you were still alive,
I wonder if you’d teach me
how to find light in dark places. Continue reading “Finding Light in Dark Places”
Lately, I’ve noticed that my schedule has been getting more and more congested. While I could manage to write blog posts every week in the past, nowadays it feels like I’m straining my brain in order to produce words.
And I can’t really blame it on myself, can I? People get busy; some of you might be having exams at school. Some others might just land on their dream jobs and are currently working their best in the new environment. Some might have even reached parenthood.
Whatever stage of life you’re in, there’s bound to be something that is draining your energy.
I am no exception.
Lately, I’ve been involved in two increasingly demanding projects that I have to babysit every single day. I even had to come to the office during weekends to ensure the deadlines are met. This is certainly not an ideal situation for me to channel my creative writing passion. Continue reading “How to Decompress during a Busy Week”
Alicia Lidwina 