Have you ever felt “cold” inside? Not the kind that comes naturally when the temperature drops, but the kind that haunts you whenever you feel alone and helpless–whenever you feel unwanted?
When I was writing this book, I was at the lowest point in my life. Back then, it felt like all the walls were collapsing on me, and I didn’t have anyone I could share my problems with. Life, in all honesty, felt like a torture. It took my everything to stay sane–with writing being my sole solace of comfort.
So maybe that’s why I managed to finish writing this book so fast; in 7 days.
Maybe that’s why I was so entranced by the story I was trying to weave; because just as the characters in this book struggled and danced and thrived in my head, I secretly had hoped that I, too, would find strength within myself to do the same.
And if there is anything I’d want the readers to take from this book, it is strength.
The kind of strength that could save you. The kind of strength that brings hope; not the strength to withstand everything– but just enough to get you through another day.
I never liked being punctured with needles all over, and I certainly don’t appreciate having to lay down all day to “rest”. Sometimes I feel my condition worsen just by staying in a hospital for too long.
However, I just spent this week being hospitalized.
This should explain why I was super late at posting the writing prompt results from last Saturday, and my lack of updates through any of my social media (Twitter, Instagram). And if you guys haven’t guessed it, this is also the reason why this week’s blog post is arbitrarily more raw and unpolished.
When I said I would be taking a month off blogging, I certainly didn’t expect just how much I would miss doing it.
A lot of things had happened during the month I was away from my blog, but at the same time, I didn’t feel like anything major had happened at all. Sure, there was my friend, Felicia’s wedding a few weeks ago. But being one of her bridesmaids, the whole event drained me of almost all my energy—to the point where I got bedridden out of pure exhaustion.
But now that I’m officially over my month-long break, I was quite troubled by what kind of blog posts should I be writing. You know, last year was all about my upcoming books, writing tips, and some tidbits about my personal life. But I wanted this year to be different—I don’t want to just be doing the same thing over and over.