I remember you said that you liked the decorative pins on my hair.
You told me I looked beautiful in that teal colored one-piece dress,
and that putting on makeup made me much more vibrant; much more alive.
I remember taking off the decorative pins,
tearing away the dress,
wiped off the makeup, and stared directly into your eyes.
“How do you love me now?” I asked.
You stammered, trying to find the words you lost.
Maybe that’s why we couldn’t work it out together. It’s not because we didn’t love each other enough, or because one of us wasn’t trying enough.
Maybe it’s just because you never looked at the real me properly.
Behind the decorative pins on my hair, the beautiful teal colored one-piece dress, and the vibrant makeup, I was just an awkward girl, trying her hardest to be just enough for everyone.
“Do you still love me now?” I remember repeating the question.
Alicia Lidwina 2017