2019 New Year’s Resolution

Hello everyone, and depending on when you’re reading this, Happy New Year!

Since this will be my last post for 2018, I thought that listing down my 2019 New Year’s resolution would be the perfect way to end the year for this blog of mine.

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Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Keep in mind that unlike my usual posts, I won’t be talking about any specific item on this list, but I’m planning to make a response post at the end of 2019 to share with you how I fared throughout the year with my resolutions. I hope it’ll be a good year for me, and for you guys, too! Continue reading

Of How Maybe Everything Came Into Existence

It felt like it hasn’t been that long since I released a new book. And quite understandably so, too, since I just released Unspoken Words back in January. Yet here I am, writing a blog post about how my third book came into existence. It feels almost surreal, because just one year ago, I would’ve never dreamed of producing two new books in such a short time.

Have you ever fallen in love so hard, you couldn’t help but see everything through a rose-tinted glass?

Even as I am writing this post right now, I find it hard to pour everything on the pages, because just like with 3 (Tiga) and Unspoken Words, Maybe Everything is also a very personal project for me—one that I never intended to publish when I was still in the process of writing it. Continue reading

My Writing Playlist: Maybe Everything

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The Cardigans – After All

Aoi Teshima – Lullaby of Birdland

Anggun – Fly My Eagle

I wrote the majority of Maybe Everything when I was heartbroken. So quite naturally, the songs featured in this writing playlist are the songs I used to listen to during the moments when I couldn’t stop thinking about my romantic interest. Even now, I still recall the evenings I spent during my commute just listening to the songs and staring out the window—wishing fervently for the pain to end.
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Bon Voyage

There’s just something about marriage that excites people. The other day, when Felicia—my friend of 8 years and counting—announced her marriage, I couldn’t be happier. I genuinely wanted to congratulate her from the bottom of my heart, because I was truly happy for her.

But at the same time, there is this lingering, quaint loneliness in the corner of my heart, whispering the advent of a certain end. Continue reading

Getting Back into Writing

Recently, it feels so hard convincing myself to write something new. You know, be it a novel, a short story, or even a short poetry. There’s always this inexplicable part of my heart that just wouldn’t listen, no matter how hard I try to tell myself to write. Something is clearly holding me back, and I don’t know how to fight it.

Maybe the cause of such phenomenon was my fear of expectations. Of living up to a certain standard. Of not disappointing anyone with lousy, uninspiring prose. I’m constantly haunted by a phantom of failure—a projected hallucination of all the walls around me crumbling, should I fail to live up to everyone’s, and my own, expectations.

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Of Friendship

I think there is something twisted about early education in Indonesia: they told us that we must never sort and pick our friends.

In reality (at least, in my reality, since reality itself is subjective by nature), we get to pick our friends even from the earliest stages of our lives.

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Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/men-sits-of-sofa-1036804/

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Watching the Knots Unfurl

Don’t you find it funny that people drift apart for no reason?

The other day, I accidentally met one of my childhood friends in a shopping mall. The very first thought that came to my mind once our eyes met was, “Crap, now I have to make small talks.” And I don’t know if my friend realized it, but during that moment, the only thing I wanted was to escape from him, go home, and bury myself under a pillow.

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Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/architecture-black-and-white-building-business-264471/

Yes, I have been called an introvert a number of times, but I really doubt being an introvert would drive me so much that I couldn’t enjoy a short, innocent meetup with an old friend. Especially since nothing bad ever happened between us; it’s not like he was my ex, or he bullied me in school. If anything, our past relationship was cool. Continue reading