My Writing Playlist: Polaris Musim Dingin

Polaris Musim Dingin Writing Playlist

Tomoki Miyoshi – Winter Journey’s Tale

Aimer – Ito

I have to admit, I wrote Polaris Musim Dingin so fast that I didn’t have the time to look for songs. For the longest time during the drafting process, I just listened to one song, and it carried me through almost all the scenes I wrote.

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What My Ideal Writing Day Looks Like

My ideal writing day starts at 7 in the morning, and usually happens only during the weekends.

The morning routine is not that complicated; I usually wash my face and brush my teeth, apply a light toner and moisturizer to my face, and check my phone for messages as I boil some hot water for my morning caffeine fix.

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Wanting to Break Free

The other day, I fell face down in a parking lot–ripped my upper lip, chipped off my front teeth, sprained my knee, cracked my phone screen, and dented my laptop. Not even a week after, I fell again–this time hitting the back of my head against the floor. I wouldn’t lie; this has been one of the worst week ever for me.

Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

So when I was lying down in the hospital bed, and right after the nurse and the doctor checked whether I had a concussion, I started thinking about this… whole series of misfortune. They came out of nowhere, and they struck like a repeated bolts of lightning. Each with more intensity than the previous one.

What did I do to even deserve this, I had thought. I kept on searching for a satisfying explanation, be it a realistic one or not. Did I lack sleep? Do I suffer from a unique bodily balance deteriority syndrome? Did I upset my ancestors? Did someone hex me into tripping over nothing? It doesn’t matter how illogical the reason is; I just wanted to blame this whole misfortune on somebody. On something.

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Writing Slump

I don’t really feel like writing today. And that is okay.

You see, the thing with having a hobby is that, people start to think that we would enjoy doing it every day and every second of our lives, which is just wrong.

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Of course there are days when I dread the very thought of having to write something on my blog. Of course there are days when I don’t want to write for prompts for my followers on Instagram. It just happens, and that’s just the way it is.

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A Much Needed Pause

The other day, I tried something new: I sat completely still for several minutes in the middle of a busy day.

No, I wasn’t sleeping, in case you’re wondering. I merely took several minutes to decompress right there on my desk, in-between my bustling schedule. For around ten minutes, my small desk became my solace of comfort, as I silenced every other outside interference, and focused on breathing alone.

It was then when I realized I’ve neglected this simple decompression method for awhile. Right after getting a new job, I felt like I had to catch up with everyone else as fast as I could, and I sacrificed my much needed rest to work, work, and work.

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Of Crippling Fear and Becoming a Published Author

Fear is a language everybody speaks. It lingers like a silent whisper in the middle of the night that keeps you awake until daybreak. It awaits in ambush for your vulnerable moments, and hunts you down whenever the chance for first strike arrives. My whole life—I’ve been afraid of so many frivolous things that it starts inhibiting my movement. Like a horse ready to gallop, but weighed down by the emotional wagon it has to pull around.

crippling fear
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Toxic Expectations

The funny thing about expectation is, for me, the fact that it swells and expands with time. Take one relationship you have with a friend, for example. I’d bet all my money that you didn’t start off as close as you might currently are.

toxic environment
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Like everyone else, you must have started as total strangers, then you gradually become closer. Notice that the expectation you have towards them also grows, almost hand in hand, with the maturity of the relationship.

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