I wrote the majority of Maybe Everything when I was heartbroken. So quite naturally, the songs featured in this writing playlist are the songs I used to listen to during the moments when I couldn’t stop thinking about my romantic interest. Even now, I still recall the evenings I spent during my commute just listening to the songs and staring out the window—wishing fervently for the pain to end.
The first track, After All, was the anthem of my heartbreak. It feels embarrassing talking about it this way, but I used to listen to this song every time it hurt so much I couldn’t do anything else but to grieve. You know, when the pain is too overwhelming you just have to take refuge—this song was my sanctuary.
During the many nights that I spent curling on my bed and crying, Lullaby of Birdland had always been the song I played last to lull me to sleep. There’s just something so comforting with the melodies and the singer’s voice that feels as though they’re saying, “Hush now. Go to sleep.”
I played Fly My Eagle during my trip to Bandung several years ago. It was the retreat I needed to organize my thoughts. And it was during this trip, with this song playing on my phone, when I finally found the courage to let go and move on from the said toxic relationship.
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September 24, 2018
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Alicia Lidwina 2018