COMING SOON: Polaris Musim Dingin

Have you ever felt “cold” inside? Not the kind that comes naturally when the temperature drops, but the kind that haunts you whenever you feel alone and helpless–whenever you feel unwanted?

When I was writing this book, I was at the lowest point in my life. Back then, it felt like all the walls were collapsing on me, and I didn’t have anyone I could share my problems with. Life, in all honesty, felt like a torture. It took my everything to stay sane–with writing being my sole solace of comfort.

So maybe that’s why I managed to finish writing this book so fast; in 7 days.

Maybe that’s why I was so entranced by the story I was trying to weave; because just as the characters in this book struggled and danced and thrived in my head, I secretly had hoped that I, too, would find strength within myself to do the same.

And if there is anything I’d want the readers to take from this book, it is strength.

The kind of strength that could save you.
The kind of strength that brings hope;
not the strength to withstand everything–
but just enough to get you through another day.

🌟”Polaris Musim Dingin“🌟
Available in bookstores: January 14, 2020

Wanting to Break Free

The other day, I fell face down in a parking lot–ripped my upper lip, chipped off my front teeth, sprained my knee, cracked my phone screen, and dented my laptop. Not even a week after, I fell again–this time hitting the back of my head against the floor. I wouldn’t lie; this has been one of the worst week ever for me.

Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

So when I was lying down in the hospital bed, and right after the nurse and the doctor checked whether I had a concussion, I started thinking about this… whole series of misfortune. They came out of nowhere, and they struck like a repeated bolts of lightning. Each with more intensity than the previous one.

What did I do to even deserve this, I had thought. I kept on searching for a satisfying explanation, be it a realistic one or not. Did I lack sleep? Do I suffer from a unique bodily balance deteriority syndrome? Did I upset my ancestors? Did someone hex me into tripping over nothing? It doesn’t matter how illogical the reason is; I just wanted to blame this whole misfortune on somebody. On something.

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